Approaches for Managing a Controlling Individual

If you find yourself in a situation where the person you care for is controlling, it can be challenging and emotionally draining. However, there are steps that you can take to address the issue and regain some control over the caregiving relationship. We‘ve outlined some strategies your should consider.

Approaches for Managing a Controlling Individual

Set Boundaries

Establish clear boundaries with the person you care for. Clearly communicate your role and responsibilities as a caregiver, and define what is and isn‘t acceptable behaviour. This can help set expectations and create a healthier caregiving dynamic.

Seek Support

Reach out to trusted friends, family members, or support groups for guidance and understanding. Sharing your experiences with others who have faced similar situations can provide validation and practical advice.

Educate Yourself

Learn about the condition or illness of the person you care for. Understanding the underlying reasons for their behaviour may help you empathise and develop strategies to manage the control issues more effectively.

Communication Strategies

Practice assertive communication techniques to express your needs, concerns, and boundaries in a clear and respectful manner. Use "I" statements to express how their behaviour affects you and advocate for your own well-being.

Involve a Mediator

If the controlling behaviour persists and causes significant distress, consider involving a mediator, such as a social worker or therapist. They can help facilitate open and constructive communication between you and the person you care for, providing a neutral ground for addressing the control issues.

Seek Professional Advice

Consult healthcare professionals or support organisations specialising in the condition or illness of the person you care for. They may offer insights, strategies, or resources to help manage the controlling behaviour more effectively.


Prioritise self-care to maintain your physical and emotional well-being. Engage in activities that bring you joy, practice relaxation techniques, and seek respite whenever possible. Taking care of yourself is crucial for maintaining resilience in challenging caregiving situations.

Consider Legal SupportIn extreme cases where the controlling behaviour escalates to abuse or poses a risk to your safety, consult with legal professionals or support services that specialise in elder abuse or domestic violence. They can provide guidance on legal options and protective measures.

Remember, every situation is unique, and it is essential to assess the specific dynamics and risks involved. The strategies we‘ve listed above provide a general framework, but it‘s crucial to tailor them to your specific circumstances and seek advice from professionals who can provide personalised guidance based on your situation.

Posted: 12/01/2024

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